Hi Kate, I have a question... Recently my boyfriend has been paying significantly more attention to his ex girlfriend (and vice versa). I've been noticing this over various social networks and even a bit in person but trying not to think too much of it. Truth is, it bothers me quite a bit, and the fact that it bothers me makes me feel worse. I would like to bring it up with him, but I fear he might take it as though I'm trying to keep him all to myself (not true).. How do I handle this??

You need to talk to him.

Communication is mandatory in relationships. There is no way around it. If you’re holding back your true feelings from someone, you might as well not be dating them at all, frankly, because good and healthy relationships are inevitably built on a foundation of honesty, trust, and communication.

Just mention that you’ve seen him chatting with his ex lately and that it’s making you feel a little uncomfortable but that you acknowledge your feelings aren’t totally rational. If he’s worth his salt, he’ll give you the validation and explanation you need in order to feel better.

After that point, it’s on you to manage your own feelings. Don’t look at his social media pages if it bothers you to do so. Tell him not to bring up his ex in front of you if it bothers you when he does so. Choose not to think about it, because it doesn’t matter and it doesn’t affect you. You’ll be happier when you really accept that and put it into action in your life.