I have a picture of me on Flickr where I’m posing with a bunch of dildos. It’s a completely innocent photo (aside from the dildos) – I’m fully clothed, I’m not doing a sexy face/pose, I’m just smiling and looking normal.
In the description, I wrote a request that no one leave me any inappropriate comments, because I’m not interested in being objectified without my consent. This sort of disclaimer is sadly necessary on Flickr because many people seem to think that everyone’s photos are there for the sole purpose of getting them off, even photos that are not overtly sexual.
I received a comment from some random dude today on that photo, calling me “immature” and “stupid” for believing that I am entitled to have people respect my request not to leave inappropriate comments. He said that when I post a photo of that nature, I am opening myself up to that type of response.
I blocked him, of course, but first I wrote him a message that explains what victim-blaming is – both in the context of situations like mine, and in the context of things like sexual assault and rape.
I told him why he was being stupid, rude, disgusting, and advocating anti-consent ideals. I told him that he should improve his behavior so he can become a better person in the future, because victim-blaming is an awful, grotesque thing.
And then I blocked him.
Y’all, seriously, it doesn’t matter what topic it’s on, what context it’s in, what situation it arises from – your consent matters. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.