Tonight I was walking home from the theatre and thinking about romantic stories in movies and books and plays, and it occurred to me that basically my whole life, I’ve thought to myself, “That kind of stuff would probably happen to me more often if I was prettier and thinner,” and the fact is, that is total bullshit.
I mean, look, it’s true that I would have more suitors if I was prettier and thinner. That’s just kind of the way the world works. But to blame a lack of romance on that shit is stupid and wrong.
A lack of romantic adventures comes not from any kind of defect within yourself except for shyness. If you want to have romantic adventures, the only thing to do is GO OUT and INITIATE ADVENTURES.
You can talk yourself out of this in a million different ways, saying “It won’t work because I’m ugly!” or “It won’t work because I’m fat!” or “It won’t work because that kind of stuff NEVER happens to me!” but that is a cop-out and it is giving up and it is shitty to do that to yourself.
If you want to have a weird episode where you get chatted up by a cute architect at a British-style pub on a Wednesday night, get dolled up and go to a British-style pub on a Wednesday night. YOU NEVER FUCKING KNOW. And some shit will probably happen that wasn’t even what you originally wanted but turns out to be something you would’ve wanted if you knew it was an option.
Every time I have gone somewhere impulsively, made a bold choice, taken a big risk, talked to someone intimidatingly attractive, it has ALWAYS led to – at the VERY LEAST – an interesting story. Sometimes significantly more than that.
Point being: shyness and laziness are the only things that can really hold you back from having awesome adventures, so you need to kick them in the face and get on with your damn life. Be brave, take risks, LIVE. Stuff will happen to you. Terrific, memorable, fabulous stuff.