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someone i was dating for about 4 months recently broke things off by completely cutting me out of their lives. we went from seeing each other every other day, spending time with each other's family, etc. to him completely ignoring my texts. he had our mutual friend drop my stuff off that i had left at his house and he told this friend that he needs a "korean girl" (i'm caucasian.) this happened a month ago and i'm done hurting but I don't know what to make of the situation. is there something

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cont: i can learn from this? should i hold on to the memories? should I feel sorry for him? should I view him as a complete douche? i’m no longer depressed. i had my cathartic period and my friends were completely supportive. but I just find myself at a loss for words when people ask about the situation and what I think about this guy or when I try to feel closure about the situation. Sincerely, Confused. Thanks Kate!

Wow, that guy’s an ass. He’s immature, he doesn’t know what he wants, he doesn’t know how relationships work, and he doesn’t know how to respectfully deal with people. You can justifiably choose to view him as a complete douche if that’s what you want to do.

Look, the thing is, none of this is your fault. He’s saying he wants to date someone of his own race, which is a) racist and b) nothing you can change. So there’s really no reason to fret over it, or replay it in your mind, or try to figure out what you could have done differently. The answer is: this guy’s not made for a relationship right now, and the only thing you could have done differently is get out earlier!

I know that you’re going to meet someone awesome in the future who treats you like a human being, rather than some disposable accessory du jour. And when that happens, this will truly seem like an unimportant, trivial chapter of your life, which is exactly what it is. Don’t sweat it, darlin’.


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