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Channel: Kate Sloan
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Having a crisis. I love my boyfriend, we've been dating for a while and have been friends for even longer. I'm a feminist, and my bf has always been very "I don't want to call myself a feminist bc it's a very broad definition and humanist bla bla bla". I've always kinda ignored it because even though he's intimidated by the title, he subscribes to the ideas and is a good guy. Recently on our campus, there was an attack on a female student (friend of mine), who had been part of a group trying to

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…deratify an MRA club. My bf was disgusted by the attack, but the incident got us talking about MRA groups. He didn’t hate them and see their absolute fucking ridiculousness as much as I had expected him to. In fact he said a a lot of things that pissed me off. And now so much of me hates him. I feel like I’ve had this epiphany that he’s actually an asshole and I don’t know what to do. This happened very quickly and it feels like it would be so crazy to end a relationship over something that happened so fast…but as the same time, I am so angry and upset and disgusted.

Okay, time for some real talk:

1. You are allowed to break up with someone for any reason you want. Period.

2. Ideological/political differences are a perfectly valid reason to break up with someone (as is ANY reason; see above).

3. This sounds like it wasn’t just the one incident. You had an inkling of these differences from the beginning and this incident is just the first in a likely string of terrible fallouts that will result if you stay in a relationship with someone you are disastrously different from.

4. You deserve better than someone who refuses to align himself with a political movement that serves to make sure people like you (women) are treated with fairness and respect. You deserve someone for whom that is a total no-brainer.

I’m not the boss of your life. I can’t tell you what to do. But if it were me, I would dump this guy immediately. That’s no joke.


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