I hope this doesn't come across as ignorant, I just need clarification: I you like more 'butch' women, why not just go for guys? what is that makes the diffrence?

hahaha. This IS an ignorant question (I have gotten it many times, as have all my friends who have similar attractions, & we’ve discussed it in annoyance on several occasions) but I forgive you because you’re self-aware!

Basically, the answer is: I’m bisexual. That means I’m biologically wired to be attracted to both men & women. However, just as some people are attracted to blondes & not brunettes, I am attracted to more masculine people & not feminine people.

We can’t control who we’re attracted to. If I meet a butchy girl who I think is really cute, who is kind to me, who is smart & funny & makes my heart beat faster, I’m not going to think to myself, “Gee, she’s so close to being a guy - I’ll just go date a guy instead.” It’s about the PERSON, not about their gender.

It might be difficult for you to imagine how ridiculous this question is for me, so I’ll give you this example: what if you were dating a woman who had naturally brown hair, but dyed her hair red, & then I said to you, “Why not just date a natural redhead, if you like that woman who has artificially red hair?” It’s not about their attributes, it’s about them as a person.

I hope that helps! (& don’t worry, I’m not offended or anything. This is a surprisingly common question for girls like me.)

Ask me anything