Freedom, Control, and Commitment in American Relationships | Esther Perel:
Usually, in a couple, one person is more afraid to lose the other (fear of abandonment), and the other is more afraid to lose themselves (fear of suffocation). We all need both connection and separateness, but some of us come out of our childhood needing more space, and some of us come out of our childhood needing more protection and connection; and we tend to partner with the person on the other side.