Anon, I don’t know if you knew this, but in the months leading up to me starting university, I had so much anxiety that I literally had to start seeing a therapist. I mean, there were other issues at play, but that was sort of the main problem I was dealing with. I found therapy helpful. If you have the good fortune to have access to therapy, I highly recommend it!
Another thing that helped me was to remind myself about people who don’t have access to post-secondary education, for financial reasons or location reasons or whatever else. It helped put things in perspective for me, and I felt more grateful to have gotten into a good school and to have the means to go there.
Journaling is also an extremely useful tool that has gotten me through many emotional upheavals. Writing about your feelings can help you figure out how irrational they are sometimes.
I’ve felt pretty good about university so far. Definitely a lot better than I thought I would, anyway. It helped that I LOVED most of my classes. I also discovered that classes in uni aren’t as socialization-based as I thought there would be. I think this would be even more true at U of T (I have a friend who transferred from Ryerson to U of T because she thought Ryerson was too hands-on!).
As for making friends, that’s definitely not my strong suit, so I ended up doing what I’ve always done: I dressed expressively (your clothing should be a conversation piece!) and I connected with people online to make it easier to do it in person. (Does your program have a Facebook page or something? Join up!)
Another thing that helped me was to remind me of something my high school improv coach told me, which is that the things most worth doing are often the scariest things. Another favorite quote of mine is that fear is just excitement with the brakes on. Think about that. You’re holding yourself back from enjoying awesomeness if you continue to hang out in the fearful part of your brain. You have to do it either way so try to think of reasons to be excited about school. Learning! New experiences! Gaining confidence in your academic abilities! etc.
Also, your friends are half-right: university is hard. I’m told it’s normal to go down a full grade point between high school and university. My average in high school was 92 and this semester it’s closer to 82. That’s fine and normal. If you really love what you’re studying, you won’t care that it’s hard; it’ll just feel challenging, in the good way.
Love, I’ve totally been through this and I feel for you so much. I wish I could give you a big hug. If you ever want to meet for coffee and talk some stuff over, please get in touch.