(cont’d) I’m so confused. I want to have sex very badly, i love being sexual and feeling horny but i feel my boyfriend isin’t as down. I have waited six months and he kept saying he didn’t want to, no no. He said he felt like I would only want him for sex, ect. One time I finally just got frustrated and he said I know you want sex, and I said do you? He replied I want to wait… And I asked why and He said I haven’t told you the reason why yet but it’s because I want it on his birthday (in december. ) So I said So you do want sex?
Or because when we do have a hang out it ends up making out and me giving him head? Like we see eachother everyday I feel thats enough when we have privacy i want him. Like i said I am so open to him, i baby him, ect ect trying to show i love him, as much as I can. The sterotypical roles have totally switched..
I try cuddling but I am not a cuddler I like makeout and being sexual I dont know he really loves being babied but ugh this whole this is super confusing because i feel like the sterotypical DUDE when im a lady with a guy..
First of all, you need to banish those ideas about gender roles from your mind, because they’re pretty much obsolete at this point. Plenty of women have a higher libido than their male partner. I actually hear about this way more often than the other way around these days. Having a high libido does not make you a “dude,” it makes you a libidinous woman.
It sounds like your boyfriend is really not down to have sex, for whatever reason. Some virgins (and non-virgins, too!) have hang-ups about certain aspects of sex that they worry will be scary or emotionally dangerous (I had some hang-ups of my own), and trying to rush/pressure those people is not helpful.
The best you can do is be supportive of his growth and making sure he knows you’ll give him as much time and space as he needs… but it doesn’t sound like that’s something you’re necessarily prepared to give. In which case, the two of you might just not be compatible in this regard. Incompatibility is a perfectly valid reason to end a relationship, because it saves both people from further aggravation.
You could try assuring him you’d be happy to wait for his birthday and explaining to him that you want to have sex with him because he’s him, not because he has a penis. But it’s possible that his issues go deep and/or that there’s something else going on, so I’m not sure how much that would help.
Are you masturbating on the regular? This is the same advice I would give to a dude who was pressuring his girlfriend to have sex before she was ready: back off, give her space, and start masturbating more! It’s an excellent way to relieve sexual tension and also general mental/emotional tension.
Your submission didn’t actually have any specific questions in it, so I’m not entirely sure what issue you were hoping to get resolved or what you were wondering about. If you want to ask something more specific, feel free to do so and I might be able to be more helpful.